What will your last words be?

What do you imagine your ‘last words’ might be if it turns out that folks can gather round and listen to you? Let’s listen in to some last words from some rather famous folks.

“I’m bored with it all.” (Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.)  ~~ Winston Churchill

“How were the circus receipts in Madison Square Gardens?”  ~~ P. T. Barnum, Circus Promoter 

“All my possessions for a moment of time.”  ~~ Queen Elizabeth I, Queen of England

“I’m looking for a loophole.” ~~ W. C. Fields

“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.” (Luke 23:46)  ~~ Jesus Christ

You may come to the end of your life’s journey with a large amount of wealth or you may be honored by your peers for your accomplishments. But what do you suppose it might all mean to you as you face your final breath? Maybe you’ll have time to plan out your last day like my friend Brenda Pue who died 588 days after her cancer diagnosis. Maybe you won’t have time to plan it out like my gardener Santiago Sanchez who was run over by a car on his way to the store one night. 

Well here’s the good news. You’re reading this article now, so you’re very much alive and have some time to ponder this matter. Do you suppose that you might hold a stock portfolio to your chest and gain comfort by looking at the number of shares on the certificate? The house or houses that you own, the backyard renovation, the new carpet you agonized over choosing, or the shiny new car you bought with all the bells and whistles…none of which you’ll ever see again… how much will they mean then? Probably not much at all. 

As you slip away from being a “dweller on the threshold” and pass across the threshold into the arms of God, your stuff will mean even less…actually it turns out your stuff will mean nothing at all unless it was used for kingdom purposes. Somehow God lights a holy match and it all burns up. 

There was a man God spoke of in the Bible named Paul. He had it all, the social status, the recognition, the power even to throw his enemies into jail. He was respected by the existing religious authorities of his day, he was an ‘up and comer,’ “of the stock of Israel, a member of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews, a Pharisee.” He said that all of those status symbols–the power, prestige, position–became “rubbish” to him when he met the God-man Jesus Christ. 

What in the world would make him change his mind about things like that? Why would he give up the power and access to affluence? Paul believed that there are things that are even more important than power, position and prestige. He believed hook, line and sinker in eternal things. He knew that, “You CANNOT serve both God and money.”

How about you? We know what we admire most by looking at what we’re striving for or who we are trying to be most like. Turns out the “Joneses” next store might not be that happy after all! The United States, one of the most economically rich countries, comes in at #15 on the Global Happiness Scale. And Americans’ level of happiness has been going down since 2005 despite the fact that the number of toys and stuff we have has gone up. OOPS! Turns out the GNP isn’t quite correlated to Joy.  

When Paul met Jesus Christ, he either gradually or immediately, stopped pursuing the status and values of this world. He began to pursue only those things that would advance the good news he found in Jesus Christ. To him life became, “forgetting those things that are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, [pressing] on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Jesus Christ.”

You and I have only so many assets to invest. You have the time God gave you today, the money you have been entrusted with as a steward on God’s behalf, the relationships you have and the package of gifts and talents that God gave you. These “life assets” are yours to use to impact the people in your sphere of influence. God calls you to invest your assets to further his purposes while we get to be alive on this spinning ball called earth. 

Here’s a few famous last words from some folks who lived well and knew what life was ultimately about.

“I commend my soul into the hands of God my Creator, hoping and assuredly believing, through the only merits of Jesus Christ my Savior, to be made partaker of life everlasting.”  ~ William Shakespeare

“And the homeless children, Bramwell, look after the homeless. Promise me . . .” ~ General William Booth, Salvation Army (to his son)

“I see earth receding; heaven is opening. God is calling me.” ~ Evangelist D. L. Moody

Well what will your words be? Of course, we can’t begin to predict them but if you live this life anywhere close to right, and have the chance to whisper some closing breaths to those gathered round the bedside. Maybe the words might be along the lines of, “I’m ready to head home.” And then when you cross over to heaven, Jesus will welcome you with the applause of heaven and you’ll hear the words, “Well done!”

The Problem is not the “Broken System”

I'm so glad C.S. Lewis knew we all would need his wise words regarding politics. The Screwtape Letters gives us the point-of-view we don't often think about: that of the evil one and his army of demons who are out to cause Christians to go astray. The book is comprised of a series of letters from a Senior Demon named Screwtape to his nephew Wormwood, a tempter-in-training. Here is an excerpt from one of them ["the patient" refers to the man they are trying to tempt]: 

My Dear Wormwood,

Be sure that the patient remains completely fixated on politics. Arguments, political gossip, and obsessing on the faults of people they have never met serves as an excellent distraction from advancing in personal virtue, character, and the things the patient can control [italics mine]. Ensure that the patient continues to believe that the problem is “out there” in the “broken system” rather than recognizing there is a problem with himself. 

Keep up the good work, 
-Uncle Screwtape

So, today, instead of worrying about politics, if you follow Jesus and his plans for humanity, represent him well today. Stride forth and raise the cross of Christ and all it stands for in the places God has placed you. If you're not a follower of Jesus, remember, it's more important to look deeply at the questions of life than the promises of political leaders. 

Jesus is the only leader who delivers on his promise that life can have meaning, hope and satisfaction. He delivers this promise in the giving of his very life, not in trying to pass a policy. No politician offers that promise. Not even Donald J. Trump. 

Politicians may point to themselves as the answer for all our problems, but there is a difference between those who say they're the answer by pointing to their life and the only one who showed that he's the answer by pointing to his death. Here's the other John 3:16 that's less famous (from 1 John): "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us," (and here's our response…) "and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers." 

Donald, Hillary or You?

When the dust settles on the last television newscast and Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump is declared the next President of these United States, you’ll still be leading your firm. Your team members will still come to work the day after the winner is declared. They’ll be looking to you for leadership, for a paycheck, for a community. Guess what they want most and what they will be looking to you to deliver? It’s meaning. That meaning they’re looking for begins with you and your leadership.

To be sure, what Washington, D.C. does actually affect your business significantly but the President of the United States does not lead your firm. You do. It’s an enterprise entrusted to you to lead. It’s a place where people look to you for answers, where people want to be part of a team that cares about them and where people want to be valued, appreciated and loved. The next President of the country will not show up this week at your office to encourage your team, fix a broken piece of equipment, hire the next team member or re-cast your mission and vision statement.

If I had some private time with you at your local coffee shop I might ask you this. Is there a soul in your firm? Is it a place where people can find themselves? Is it a place where people are loved? Do you just make things and deliver services or do you make people and deliver human flourishing such that you pull back the curtains on the meaning and purpose of life? How do you become a meaning maker? Or are you just a profit taker?

David Ulrich, one of the top 10 most innovative and creative thinkers in the world, interviewed thousands of workers, managers and leaders. He concludes that it’s not just about profit, purpose, procedures, product…it’s PEOPLE! Ulrich reminds us that we lead businesses where people come to find meaning. 

According to Dr. Ulrich’s multi-year studies, “We all work for the same thing—and it’s not just money. It’s meaning. Through our work, we seek a sense of purpose, contribution, connection, value, and hope. When we achieve meaning through our work, we succeed beyond our wildest dreams.”

Ulrich goes on to say, “Employees who find meaning at work will have a better work experience that will translate into improved performance, more satisfied customers, and more profitable companies.”

Ah! There it is! If you as a leader deliver meaning, there IS a connection to performance and profit!

Writer and theologian Dorothy Sayers writes that “work is not, primarily, a thing one does to live, but the thing one lives to do. It is, or should be, the full expression of the worker’s faculties, the thing in which he finds spiritual, mental, and bodily satisfaction, and the medium in which he offers himself to God.”

The Bible, the best leadership book in the world, tells us we have a number of leadership roles. If you’re a Christian, overall, you’re an AMBASSADOR: you represent your faith in the marketplace. You’re also called a SOLDIER. Are you strategizing for your day like it’s a battle? Are you willing to fight and endure hardship as you represent your faith? Next, God reminds you to be diligent like a FARMER. Are you willing to work hard on your business or have you maybe settled into autopilot? Next, you’re to be disciplined like an ATHLETE, willing to train hard and win. Finally, the surprise trait. Ready for it? Are you tender and kind and loving like a NURSING MOTHER, willing to nourish, cherish your team members? God reminds us that tenderness is also a leadership trait.

Well, before the coffee gets cold and we have to run to our next meeting, may I ask you one last question? How will you steward those roles God has placed you in and lead with intentionality at your firm? You’re not just an ATM machine to send money to missions. Your firm does not just exist to tell the Good News to people in foreign countries. Could it be time to turn around and see the people standing behind you that you lead? They need to hear God’s Good News too!

You may not be the President of the USA, but you are leading your firm. No matter who is President of the country, God is still in charge the trajectory of the world. His purposes will evolve on his timetable and over thousands of years they have never depended on the current leader acting a certain way. God uses good and bad leaders to accomplish his ultimate plans and he influences the hearts of leaders. However, God has placed you where you are as a leader of your firm and he wants you to lead. So let’s call the election right now. You win! You’re in charge of your firm! Begin leading your firm with deep purpose under God’s plan and power today. Suit up and embrace the roles of ambassador, soldier, farmer, athlete and nursing mother. If you and other business leaders across America stand up and grasp our roles with strong intentionality, we can make a difference in our companies, our counties, our country and the world where God has placed us.

What's In Your Pocket Right Now?

What’s in your pocket right now? Do you know what they found in Abraham Lincoln’s pockets on the night of April 14, 1865, the night he was assassinated? Here’s some of the list. A country boy’s pen knife, a marble, two pair of spectacles, one tied together with string, a sleeve button that had come off, a Confederate five-dollar bill, and 8 newspaper clippings, one of the only ones of its day that were complimentary of him, saying that history would someday call him a great President.

I wonder if the pocket knife was to fix his glasses or was it that Mr. Lincoln enjoyed doing things with his hands since leadership is at times rather ethereal. I like the playful nature of his having a marble, or maybe he rolled it around in his hand as he thought about weighty decisions of the war. Those of us in leadership take ourselves too seriously some days. I wonder if Abe was too busy to fix his broken glasses or maybe he wasn’t too worried about them at all?!

My favorite thing to think about however is the articles he carried with him in his jacket pocket that fateful night at the Ford Theater. They talked about how history would see him as a great leader.  Do you wonder about your leadership at times? I do about mine! I’m fascinated that one of the world’s great leaders, Abraham Lincoln, appeared somewhat unsure about how he might be doing. I wonder what his thoughts were as he walked the halls of power. I wonder how certain he was of all his decisions. I wonder if he doubted his skill set as a leader.

The Library of Congress rare book and special collections division chief Mark Dimunation notes that the eight newspaper clippings Lincoln carried were “largely positive portrayals of his leadership”, yet he stressed that they were “less proof of a president’s ego than of a man who needed reassurance. It was a very tough re-election for Lincoln. The war had worn him down… The articles would have been very affirming to him.”

By the way, what do you do to appropriately believe in your leadership? Here’s one of the ways President Lincoln handled his thoughts. He made this statement to General Dan Sickles, a participant in the battle of Gettysburg: “Well, I will tell you how it was. In the pinch of the campaign up there (at Gettysburg) when everybody seemed panic stricken and nobody could tell what was going to happen, oppressed by the gravity of our affairs, I went to my room one day and locked the door and got down on my knees before Almighty God and prayed to Him mightily for victory at Gettysburg…. And after that, I don’t know how it was, and I cannot explain it, but soon a sweet comfort crept into my soul. The feeling came that God had taken the whole business into His own hands and that things would go right at Gettysburg ….” [July 5, 1863].

My former boss, the President of Biola University has an antique “prayer kneeler” in his office; it’s a padded bench of sorts where he invites God in on his leadership. Since the power of God comes through prayer, maybe we all should consider having one in our offices too.

Mops, People, and the Soul of Your Firm

What in heavens name does a mop have to do with valuing people AND profit? Let’s explore how an $8 billion dollar NYSE firm lived out the answer based upon biblical truth.

Doesn’t your day go better when the tools you use everyday work well? If your computer was 8 years old, it would be a tough day checking your email. If your car tires were out of balance, you’d be heading for the tire shop asap to correct the wobbling. Yet in the worlds of our team members, we often ignore the tools that they use and we even allow them to work with mediocre, old or broken tools. The startling truth is however that there is a link between profitability and the way things happen at the lowest level of our firm.

In their fine work The Service Profit Chain, authors Heskett, Schlesingerand Sasser of The Harvard business School uncover the linkage between employees, customers and profits. You can learn more at http://www.serviceprofitchain.com.

As leaders, we can’t teach excellence, then welcome a new team member on their first day of work by giving them the last employee’s uniform, one size too big, with stains on it, while assigning them a truck to tool around town in that has a crack in the windshield. Or how about that office team member we ask to produce superior results with five year old computer, a rickety chair and poor lighting overhead? In the employee’s mind, the analogy breaks down. In effect, we’ve said we care about excellence with customers and profit for our firm, but not about them as a person. There’s a link between valuing people and achieving profit.

The ServiceMaster Company Values
At ServiceMaster, where I was greatly privileged to work for 20 years, we built an $8 billion dollar firm on the basis of ascribing dignity and worth to service workers, providing them with stellar tools and caring deeply for them and their families. At the same time we cared deeply for achieving organizational excellence and growing profitably. The principles that fuel ServiceMaster are based in biblical truth and we always deployed that truth in the public square, including on our Annual Shareholders Report, the wall in the lobby and more. If you were to visit the headquarters of the firm, when you walk into the two-story lobby, you’d see a curved marble wall ninety feet long and eighteen feet tall. Etched into the stone of that wall, in letters eight feet tall, are the four objectives of the firm. The marble wall tells the world about a set of values that are permanent. The principles carved in stone in the Chicago headquarters trickle down to the daily practices of the 80,000 team members around the world. Here they are:

Four Objectives of ServiceMaster
To honor God in all we do
To help people develop
To pursue excellence
To grow profitably

The first two objectives are end goals, the second two are means goals. ServiceMaster doesn’t use the first objective as a basis of exclusion. It is, in fact, the reason for their promotion of diversity as they recognize the potential and worth of every individual. In a diverse and pluralistic society, some may question whether the first objective belongs as part of a purpose statement of a public company, but regardless of your starting point, the principle that can be embraced by all is where the objectives lead the firm, and that is towards the dignity and worth of every person.

ServiceMaster Vision Statement: 
“To be a vehicle for use by God in the lives of people as they serve and contribute to others.”

Biblical leadership and the tools of your team members
Bill Pollard, the former President of ServiceMaster, said “…leadership is not so much about the leader, but instead it is about the people who follow and the direction they are headed. This is the principle that Christ was teaching his disciples when he washed their feet. A leader must know what he or she believes, the direction they are going, and why it is important for people to follow. A leader must understand what it means to walk in the shoes of the people that follow.

So how are you investing in your people? Have you ‘walked in their shoes’ lately?

ServiceMaster spent time walking in the shoes of service workers who were cleaning especially in the area of mopping floors. They took the standard cotton mop on a wooden handle and transformed it into a tool that employees appreciated. The wooden handle was replaced with a hollow fiberglass core which made it lighter, stronger and more flexible, thus, less fatigue sets in per day and the handle is resistant to breaking. Next, they coated it with a safety yellow paint so that it was visible and could be used to block off wet floor areas; put a rubber grip on the end so holding the mop was less tiring; used stainless steel on the mop-head holder so that it didn’t rust from staying in a bucket of water all day. The mop-head holder was made to be ‘quick-release’ so that the employee did not have to unscrew the rusty bolt holding the mop-head on to the handle. All in all, they created a tool that was ‘top of the line’ but the results were housekeepers who felt cared for and valued and in turn had dignity and worth ascribed to them as people.

Why do you think ServiceMaster spend so much time and money making a better mop? It actually flowed from biblical worldview truths embedded in the people development principles at the firm. You could implement similar principles at your firm that would have a ripple effect throughout your company. Here’s just one of them:

People are Created in the Image of God (Genesis 1)

Leadership principles that flow from this truth:

1. Since God is creator, and people are created in His image, therefore people are also creative. Therefore, as leaders we should:

• Value the input of people into their own work and into our work.
• Provide opportunities for people to express feedback on how they view their work.
• Be creative in our utilization of the creative talents of others.
• Be promoters and sponsors of the potential of the people we lead.

2. Since God intensely values each person, and people are his most valued creation, therefore people have value (Psalm 139:13). Therefore, as leaders we should:

• Treat people with respect and dignity.
• Lead people, as we want to be led.
• Serve the people we lead, seeing them as ends not means in accomplishing work. We can use work as a development tool.
• Help people be something as well as do something.

3. God created each of us with certain gifts. Therefore, as leaders we should:

• Recognize God given gifts in those we lead.
• Help them develop these gifts to become all that God meant them to be.
• Recognize that each individual is in the final analysis accountable to be a growing person. Both motivation and development are the responsibility of each person for himself/herself. We as leaders are accountable to provide the climate that encourages such individual development.

What is the new social contract between you as the employer and your employee’s for the 21st century?

Breakthrough Discussion Questions

1. What areas of your business are you doing well in with regards to valuing and honoring your team members?
2. What are the ‘mops’ or tools in your business that may need tuning up? Think about where there needs to be course correction in areas where you may not be treating your team members with dignity and worth.

Next Steps

What are your next steps in moving forward to implement strong biblically based people valuing principles?

Power, Position, Prestige...Or A Life Well Spent?

What do you imagine your ‘last words’ might be if it turns out that folks can gather in & listen to you? Here are a few last words from recognizable people:

“I’m bored with it all.” (Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.) ~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

“How were the circus receipts in Madison Square Gardens?” ~~ P. T. Barnum, Circus Promoter, d. 1891

“All my possessions for a moment of time.” ~~ Queen Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.” (Luke 23:46) ~~ Jesus Christ

Malcolm Forbes life emphasized the Epicurean philosophy, “Eat, drink, and be merry – for tomorrow we may die.” He was famous for denying himself nothing that money could buy. Malcolm threw himself a birthday party for his eightieth birthday that cost $1,000,000. He flew two or three hundred of his closest friends to Tangier in a chartered 747. He knew, and was known by, every important person in the world of politics and finance. He built one of the world’s great fortunes as one of its foremost publishers. It seems that Mr. Forbes philosophy of life would be that we should strive to see, taste, hear, experience, or possess as much of the world’s various valued faire as possible before the time to depart it comes.

Actually the bible king named Solomon was richer than Malcolm Forbes. Solomon once said,

“I also tried to find meaning by building huge homes for myself and by planting beautiful vineyards. I made gardens and parks, filling them with all kinds of fruit trees. I built reservoirs to collect the water to irrigate my many flourishing groves. I bought slaves, both men and women, and others were born into my household. I also owned great herds and flocks, more than any of the kings who lived in Jerusalem before me. I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful singers, both men and women, and had many beautiful concubines. I had everything a man could desire! So I became greater than any of the kings who ruled in Jerusalem before me. And with it all, I remained clear-eyed so that I could evaluate all these things. Anything I wanted, I took. I did not restrain myself from any joy. I even found great pleasure in hard work, an additional reward for all my labors.” Ecclesiastes 2:4-11

You may come to the end of your life’s journey with a large amount of wealth or you may be honored by your peers for your accomplishments. But what do you suppose it might all mean to you as you face death? Do you suppose that you might hold a stock portfolio to your chest and gain comfort by looking at the number of shares on the certificate? The house that you own, the backyard renovation, the new carpet or the car…none of which you’ll ever see again… how much will they mean then? Probably not much at all.

As you slip across the threshold into the arms of God, they’ll mean even less…actually nothing at all unless they were used for kingdom purposes.

The Apostle Paul had it all, the social status, the recognition, the power even to throw his enemies into jail. He was respected by the existing religious authorities of his day, he was an ‘up and comer’, “of the stock of Israel, a member of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews, a Pharisee.” He said all of those status symbols, the power, prestige, position type things, became “rubbish” to him when he met Jesus Christ.

What in the world would make him change his mind about things like that? Why would he give up the power and access to affluence? Paul believed that there are things that are even more important than power, position and prestige. He believed hook, line and sinker in eternal things. He knew that, “You CANNOT serve both God and money.”

How about you and me? We know what we admire most by looking at what we’re striving for or who we are trying to be most like. When Saul of Tarsus met Jesus Christ, he either gradually or immediately, stopped pursuing the status and values of this world. He, either slowly or immediately, began to pursue only those things that would promote and proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To him life became, “forgetting those things that are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Jesus Christ.”

You and I have only so many assets to invest. Our assets are the amount of time we have left, the money that we control, the relationships we have, and the package of gifts and talents that God has given us. Combined these equal our opportunity to promote and proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ in the context of the life He has called us to lead. Investing our assets to promote and proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to earn the rewards provided by our Father in Heaven for the faithful and obedient use of the opportunity He gives us, is the only real reason we are still here on earth. God, by His sovereign choice, has chosen to use flawed and foolish people like you and me to work through and to demonstrate and announce His Kingdom. He does the work, but through us.

Paul of Tarsus and others, through the testimony of their lives, give us examples of wise men who made wise investments that last for eternity and bring eternal rewards. How about you? Have you invested well on earth so that your dying words will reflect the world view of your leader Jesus Christ?

A Leader and His Family

I slipped into his room late one evening to give him a goodnight snuggle only to find him wide awake snuggled under the covers. “Hey Dad!” my 12 year old said. “Tonight was our date night! You forgot!” Has it happened to you yet? In the midst of the holiday sales and the eggnog latté’s the dashing and the prancing for a place in line at Denny’s after a long night of shopping for the perfect gift? Have you forgotten the most important thing God has entrusted to you? It’s the gift of our family and those we love. It had been weeks since my wife and I had a date together, just the two of us. I knew things needed to change and fast.

We set out to meet our work and family goals and somehow in the midst of all the holiday rushing, we forget that waiting at home is that young boy waiting to play catch, that teenage girl who needs to talk about boys or that spouse that needs to be treated with all the attention we gave them back in the spring when things were moving at a slower pace. Why does it happen? Why do we feel like we need run so hard during the holidays?

Recently, over a cup of coffee with a friend, in-between the sips of Starbucks and the glint of the bright sunshine, the truth about his family came out. The friend I was meeting with told me the real story of where things were with his work. You see, his work as a leader was doing great, it was his family that was suffering.

Nobel Prize winning Harvard biologist Dr. George Wald has some thoughts: “What one really needs is not the Nobel laureates but love. How do you think one gets to be a Nobel laureate? Wanting love, that’s how. Wanting it so bad one works all the time and ends up a Nobel laureate. It’s a consolation prize. What matters is love.”

If we were sitting at that Starbucks near your house and talking over our day, would you allow me a pretty personal question? What’s the Nobel Prize you’re striving for? Is it possible that the prize you’re striving for has edged out your precious family?

Well, before the Starbucks gets cold and we’ve both gotta run, if it’s time for a bit of a life re-balancing, here are ten ideas to help you get back on track. Got a pen? Jot em down on your napkin.

1. Get your family together and craft a family mission statement. It’s just as important to be intentional as a family as it is to do so where you work. We wanted our family to be on the same page as to why we were here on earth. Need a head start? Here’s ours. “Our family is going through life’s journey together, growing roots in Christ and wings for our mission, becoming equipped to make a difference in our world by learning to live like Jesus, for Jesus and in Jesus.“
2. Carve out time for your family each week…in advance. Put it on your calendar. Stop saying you have got to get ‘one more thing done’ before you leave for home.
3. Jettison things from your schedule that aren’t important. March to the mission that Jesus called you to, not the mission that others want you to do for them. Be ruthless here!
4. If your work situation requires constant excessive hours to get the job done, it’s time to evaluate other ways to accomplish the task. You can’t accomplish the mission of the organization single-handedly! Pray for supernatural results throughout your day, then go home and be a minister to your main mission field, your family.
5. If you’re a leader of others, have people actually write into their job descriptions the need to be committed to their family and specifically how they will be do this.
6. Develop an activity together with your family as a whole and or with individual family members; maybe it’s hiking, a date at Denny’s for breakfast on Saturday or coffee with your spouse.
7. Create a spiritual ‘life development plan’ for each of your kids outlining their strengths, areas for improvement and your plans to shape them as they grow up under your care. Our children are arrows that are being sent to a world that we will never fully see. It’s our job to shape them into arrows that will travel the distance to the kingdom target that God has intended for them.
8. Schedule a date night of at least an hour once a week with each child or your spouse where you just focus on them. It doesn’t have to be expensive, time alone is the critical ingredient here.
9. When you’re traveling, send email or a postcard back to your family. Pray with them on the phone in addition to chatting.
10. At the end of a day, ask your kids or spouse these three questions…’What happened today that you’re proud of ?’ ‘What happened today that you wish you could do over?’ ‘Where did you see God in your day today?’

OK, just one more question…If you asked your children to share words that define your parenting, or if your spouse was reviewing your life at your funeral service, what words would they use? If you’re not happy with what words are echoing around in your head, it’s time to make some changes. I love how Eugene Petersen in The Message puts it, “Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air…” (Proverbs 11:29). When my work years have come to an end and the castles of my work stand tall and strong, I want to be holding more than air, don’t you?

“Hey Dad! I passed!” said my 15 year old girl. You see, I’m writing this morning from the Department of Motor Vehicles waiting room where I came with my daughter to get her driving permit. Some days you just can’t get to ‘balance’ so lately I’ve been working on “integration” – aren’t laptops great? As my daughter and I celebrated her passing the test with a big hug in the lobby, I was glad I’d decided the to-do list at work could wait. The memory of this morning with her will last forever, and I think we’ll celebrate with a long, slow eggnog latte.